Ionut Grecu

Ionut Grecu

agilist by vocation | lightly-seasoned seeker by nature

How To Get Rid Of Irritating People?

I got some irritating people in my life. What should I do?

This is what somebody told me a few days ago. And he had me thinking…

When there’s an irritating person in our lives, what are most of us doing? We try to be as irritating back as possible, which in fact just recreates the causes for more irritating people in our lives.

Or maybe we try to run away. We try to move to another city, or maybe we change our job thinking that we won’t have irritating people anymore. What a childish act!

If you’ve already done that, have you noticed that they just followed you? Of course with different faces, with different genre, but they are still there! Why? Because they are not coming AT you, they are coming FROM you!

Is There An Irritating Person By Nature?

Well, we think that there’s an irritating person out there, independent of us, that somehow has that as his essence, like he was born irritating. Is this true? Let’s dig and see…

Is Shawarma Intrinsically Likeable?

If you’re one of my friends, you already know I’m in love with shawarma.

…But does shawarma has some kind of essence or nature of being likeable?

If shawarma had some kind of essential goodness,  essential likeability what would happen the more you ate of it? I personally tried this a few times, as an experiment… for the benefit of science, of course 🙂

If it’s got some kind of intrinsic goodness, the more you would ate of it, the more you would feel good. Isn’t it?

But that’s not the case. Trust me, two shawarmas don’t play nice. The “intrinsically good” shawarma turns into “intrinsically seek producing” shawarma.

What happened in this scenario? Nothing happened with shawarma, it’s not about the shawarma. The shawarma has no qualities of its own. If we think that, that’s ignorance.

Shawarma doesn’t exist out there objectively the way we see it. The goodness of shawarma is just a projection that comes FROM us!

Let’s get back…

Objectively Existing Irritating Person?

What’s the proof that there’s not an irritating person like that, objectively existing as an irritating person? Very simple! Not everyone sees him that way.

…And not everybody else is wrong! Don’t tell me that!

I know you would argue: “They don’t see my irritating person as irritating, so they all are wrong! …And I’m right!”

Believe me that this is ignorance. The irritating person has a mother or a wife that loves him, and don’t see him as being irritating!

The irritatiness of the irritating person is not coming from the irritating person. It’s coming FROM us! We don’t get that and that’s the root of all our problems!

We think that things that actually are coming FROM us, are coming AT us!

What Should We Do Then?

I know that it’s hard to be happy when you have irritating people in your life. You gotta get rid of them! So how to get rid of irritating people!? Stop being irritating back!

The irritating people that pops up in our lives are a reflection of who we once were to someone else. We’re seeing ourselves in a mirror. Could not have ever had an irritating person in our lives if we hadn’t been irritating to someone else.

What goes around, comes around!

Stop Being Irritating Back!

The first way to get rid of the irritating people is to stop creating the causes for more irritating people in our lives.

When an irritating person arises in our lives what is the stupidest thing that we can do? Be irritated back. Because that’s the only way we got the irritating person in the first place.

If we don’t get irritated, what happen with the irritating person? Can an irritating person exist without us being irritated? If we’re not irritated by an irritating person, they are no longer an irritating person!

Wrapping Up

As we wrap up, I want to leave you with one final thought. Go through life and try not to be irritated, especially by the things that don’t matter. C’mon! Most of the things that irritate us in life just doesn’t matter at all. We’re irritated by the stupidest things. What’s weird it’s that the closer we are with people, the most stupid the irritating things are.

Unwanted thing happens, irritating persons pop up. You have a choice. You can be irritated, you can be unhappy, you can have all day ruined, or you can just stay calm. Which one should you do?